2005-03-27T14:52:00.000-08:00

i am a very important person.
i've acquired a genetically altered handshake capable of speeds up to 30 mph.

Hair arranged by the most advanced landscape surveillance operators our company can afford.

i have a very expensive pen.

i use big words quite often in substitution for semantically equivalent words.

i attribute this success to my professional demeanor and my strong stock portfolio.

though it may not appear so, i am quite comfortable in my surroundings.

i have everything, let me show you around. smile you fucker, it's not often you get this chance.

love is just an exchange of corporate documents.

i've reviewed your rapport and i feel you're a prospect for mechanical salvation. this is a joint venture that will be mutually advantageous to both parties involved. technically this is just a business merger. a consolidation of liquid assets.

WTF